Figuring out what you want

Figuring out what you want

In 2018 I was stuck, I was struggling dealing with the littlest of things and of course every single that could go wrong was going wrong… well that was what it felt like anyway! For me it had all been building since I hit 29! Everything just kept getting harder and harder and the pressure to live up to this imaginary life I had thought was expected of me was slowly killing my soul. This built and built until at 34, I lost my shit a little… I was so fed up with everything sucking that I decided all the things I should be doing needed to take a backseat and I needed to re-focus on what I wanted! 2018 became the year I dedicated every moment I could to working on myself and figuring out what I wanted for my life. In this post I want to share with you a few lessons I learned and the steps I took to get closer to knowing what it was that I really wanted.

Reflect & Reconnect

I think we can sometimes get caught up in the belief that we should know what we want, and it should be linear! Like when I grow up I want to be a lawyer, get married and have 3 children… or in my case, I thought I wanted to work my way up the corporate ladder, get married, have twins etc etc… But the funniest thing happened when I took the time to sit, make lists, reflect and ask myself what I really wanted… it looked nothing like that list!

Some of the very first questions I used to reconnect with myself were:
• What do you think your values?
• What would you do if you had all the money you needed?
• What activities are you drawn to naturally (in and out of work)?
• What makes you feel good?
• What is your intuition already telling you?

Bridge the gap

Another activity that really helped me get clear with what I wanted and helped me figure out a plan was an activity I like to call bridging the gap! The idea is to write two lists. The first is your reality, where you are right now and the second is to write a list of your ideal outcome.

Below are a few ideas to get you started:
• What feelings do you currently feel daily / What feelings do you want to feel daily?
• How does your day to day life look and feel like right now / How do you want your day to day to look and feel like?
• What do you do in your job / What do you wish you did in your job?
• What does your morning routine look like / What would be your perfect morning routine?
• What does your evening routine look like / What would be your perfect evening routine?
• What do your weekends look like / What would be your perfect weekend?

Give up & let go

Ok ok, I know this sounds negative… but let me explain! There is honestly no need to stress and dwell on knowing what you want! Take a deep breath and just let it go, give up on the idea that you must know what you want, give up on the idea of what you think is expected of you and instead, take some time to dream and do the things that bring you joy, focus on the feelings you want to feel in life instead of the pressures of what life should look like!

Show yourself some love and care

Yes, I am talking about self-love / self-care! This isn’t just the typical face masks and bubble baths, this is doing the work that’s required for you to feel good! This is letting go of past traumas, this is setting boundaries and standing your ground, this is saying no when you want to say no! This is pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone when you know its for your greater good! This is loving every inch of your body, no matter what society says about it! This is using a ridiculous amount of exclamation points when you are writing because it feels good!

The moment I stopped stressing on figuring out what I wanted and reconnected with myself is the moment my intuition started feeling stronger and my path felt clearer and the pressures started to just fall away…

Today, I honestly believe the story that you must be just one thing or follow one path in life is outdated! It is 2020 GOSH DARN IT! I am ready to believe there are no set rules, we make our own rules, so if you want to be a Chef, who is also a writer and you want to sell small croqueted hats for turtles on etsy… BABE DO IT! It is honestly up to you… you may not wake up and be there straight away, but if you want to do something and you have the belief that you can… then you will!

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50 ideas for your own Self Love Dates

50 ideas for your own Self Love Dates

When completing my monthly reset this month, I decided I wanted to schedule some self love dates.

By now we all know the benefits of a little self love… taking the time to do the things that bring you joy, put a spark in your heart and light your fire is literally good for your health! Its a fact! 

So without going over all of the reasons why self love is great (which I am sure you have already read about), I wrote a list of 50 things I plan to do on my self love dates! I hope they inspire you to take the time to go on some of your own self love dates!  

50 ideas for your own Self Love Date

  1. Go see a movie by yourself

  2. Go somewhere and read a book

  3. Watch the Sunrise with a breakfast picnic

  4. Go on a solo road trip

  5. Have a solo photoshoot

  6. Go for a solo paddle board

  7. Do a puzzle with wine

  8. Self care day – face masks, nails, bath etc

  9. Have a sensual selfie date! Put on your sexiest undies and take some sensual photos or hire a professional to make you look killer 

  10. Go to the markets and buy yourself flowers

  11. Sign up for a class e.g. pottery, painting or cooking class 

  12. Spend an hour browsing in a book shop

  13. Make a vision board for one of your goals 

  14. Make a fort, get snacks and binge watch Netflix
  15. Download a meditation app and go to town (as in just do the meditations.. I’m not being literal here)
  16. Go to your local coffee shop or a park or somewhere new and get lost in a good book
  17. Find a spot outside and take out all your art supplies and just make art in nature! 
  18. Go on a hike 
  19. Get up early, prepare some tea or coffee in a flask and go somewhere to see the sunrise
  20. Get a tattoo! 
  21. Set up a magical candle lit bubble bath
  22. Put on a playlist you love and have your own disco! Dance till you can’t wipe the smile off your face
  23. Book a spa day or visit a salt cave 
  24.  Redecorate or rearrange a room in your home
  25. Clean out and create the pantry of your Pinterest dreams 
  26. Write a list of all the things you want in life 
  27. Figure out what your values are 
  28. Get a mani pedi, a facial or a massage
  29. Start a herb garden or go plant shopping 
  30. Go to a yoga or meditation class or go to a trampoline park or skating rink
  31. Take a tour of your city and take photos like a tourist
  32. Go on an adventure – e.g. find your towns closest land pillow and go there!! They are so fun! 
  33. Create your own personal sound tracks for different moments in your life e.g. Cleaning montage playlist
  34. Write in your diary / journal 
  35. Listen to some good TED Talks on topics that interest you… or that you know nothing about 
  36. Go on a walk and listen to podcast 
  37. Go to the beach for a swim
  38. Volunteer doing something that’s meaningful to you 
  39.  Go buy yourself a sex toy and play with it! <3 
  40. Light all of the candles you can find and play with some tarot cards or affirmations
  41. Write a list or a list of lists you want to create! 
  42. Draw a mind map of your life
  43. Google a topic you know nothing about but are curious about
  44.  Find a cute diner and order a milkshake 
  45. Get dressed up and stay home – I mean take some selfies too so it’s documented how good you look
  46. Cuddle your dogs or visit someone who owns dogs so you can cuddle them (unless they are not cuddly dogs… then maybe play fetch or just pat them) 
  47. Go to an art exhibit or museum
  48. Have a tea party for one – use your good china or go find a cute tea cup and saucer from the thrift shop first and then drink tea (or champagne) in your fancy tea cup
  49. Read in bed 
  50. Write a letter for yourself to read in 10 years  

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Project: Create Daily

Project: Create Daily

Project: Create Daily

January is done and we are now well into February! Can you even believe it… For me January was spent focusing on big goals and dreams and loosely structuring out my year. I wrote out a big list of all of the things I want to achieve in life and then circled all of the goals I wanted to achieve in 3 months, 6 months and within the year! The rest I have left in the list ready to refocus on next year, I then went through all of the goals I had circled to achieve in 3 months and merged some that were a similar theme, once I had all of my goals that I want to achieve in the next 3 months set, I then went through and set out action plans and steps to reach all of them within the next three months. I also created 1 mini goal related project to focus on each month.

As February passes by I will be working through my action plans and ticking off each step as I go along in my journal, as well as completing the mini project I have set myself. Each mini goal is of course related to a bigger goal! I will be sharing each monthly mini goal here and of course share my progress along the way in my Instagram stories and posts.

So lets get straight into it!

My mini goal for February is to ‘Create Daily’ to make sure I succeed with this, I have written myself a list of all the things that define create (to me) and I have set a daily reminder to check in with myself on if I have created yet! So firstly, why is the mini goal ‘Create More’? A lot of my BIG goals are creatively focused so firstly, I want to strengthen that muscle and secondly being creative makes me happy, it gives me joy and it sets my vibration on high! 

My 'Create' List

Write a blog post

Write a journal entry

Use some writing prompts

Write a chapter

Write a poem

Create art

Create a playlist

Create a system

Create a new habit / routine

Work on a craft project

Film a video

Play your ukulele

Create content

Create joy – dance, sing or full belly laugh

This is just a list of ideas that I created for myself to look at on the days I’m not really sure what I will create, but i hope to come up with lots more ideas along the way! 

Make sure if you want to follow along you head over to my insta. Hope to see you there! x 

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5 ways to work with your goals

5 ways to work with your goals

5 ways to work with your goals

Last week, I spent a lot of time dreaming up some big scary exciting life goals! These goals were anything but SMART, they were ideas, words, feelings and dreams not bound to my current reality. I have to admit, my list is pretty badass and something I really have struggled to do over the years… When I have tried to dream big in the past, I have found it really hard to think of the things I may I want, but this year was different, I’ve been doing the work on myself and each day my ideal future becomes clearer and more and more extravagantly amazing! 

After years of setting the goal post to low, not knowing what to strive towards and honestly just letting life happen to me, I finally decided I needed to work more on myself so I could start letting life happen for me! I’d love to say that the moment I started creating mind maps, setting my values, being grateful and working on figuring out the things that light me up, that I instantly figured out what I want to do in life… Nope… But doing that work on myself and practicing (yes the buzz word) self care and self love I find it easier each time to come up with ideas on my dream life as well as appreciate how amazing my life already is!

In this post, I wanted to share a few ways that I am making my goals work for me!

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Write them down

There are plenty of different ways you can do this and reasons why you should… writing down your goals gets them out of your mind and out into the world, it helps you focus and assemble your thoughts from something abstract to something real, a statement, a plan or a new story!

How you write them down is up to you and personally I suggest trying as many methods as possible and then going with what feels right at the time… or with whatever works for you. I don’t think you need to pick one method and just stick to that, play around with it!

Verbalise them

Now there are many views on if you share your goals with others or not… some say sharing your goals with others gives you accountability while others say physiologically your getting the satisfaction of completing the goal… without actually completing the goal! Now I am not sure exactly which side of the fence I sit on here… BUT what I do believe is, that you need to make your goals feel real! So whether you find a close friend to talk about your goals with or if you just talk about them with yourself out loud in the mirror, talk them out! Clarify what they are and why you want them, dream about what it will be like when you reach them, connect with why you want to reach them and get excited about the possibilities of them becoming reality!   

Forget about failure

This is a big one for me, its something I am constantly working through! Why do we see failure as something bad? Something to be ashamed of? It is absolutely crazy to think we can achieve anything without a bit of failure! Something I have been working on in altering my thoughts, patterns and reactions to failure… I have been re-writing my stories around failing and disconnecting shame from the equation all together! We have all read the motivational quotes about learning from failures or it being apart of the journey etc… but seriously they are all true… I mean most cheesy quotes are! Failing is just one step towards your damn goal… so if you are one step closer… why is that shameful? Why aren’t we celebrating the fuck out of it or at least just re-assessing and moving on?!

Work on your habits

Something I am obsessed with reading about is habits and routines! How habits work, how to change them, what other peoples routines are and testing different routines out for myself! Something that changed the way I thought about all of this was when I realised our thoughts become our feelings, which in turn affect our actions… so…. If my thoughts affect my actions… I need to make sure my headspace is in the right place… and to do that?! Yep I needed to work out which habits made me feel good, which habits to ditch and how to fit all of those good ones into my days/weeks/life! I still constantly work on this, but I am in a much better place than I was in my 20’s and to tell you the truth I learn something new about myself every time I explore a habit or change up my routines. This may seem like it has nothing to do with achieving your goals… but I am telling you, the amount of research and self help books out there that suggest working on your habits and routines get you closer to reaching your goals, it aint a new concept… just make sure that your habits and routines align with where you are heading  and you will reach your destination (Slowly puts lid back on can of worms… for now!)

Flow with your seasons

Something I have learned about myself is that my life has seasons, I don’t mean like summer and winter etc, I mean I have ups and downs and patterns and moments where I am on fire along with moments where I want to hibernate. Over time I have learnt to listen to them, accept them and do my best to work with them instead of judge them or shame myself for having them. In the moments of fire your hot and ready and motivated, but in the moments of hibernation, its easy to get down on yourself… Which honestly just spirals you further down… Learning to accept, give yourself grace and finding the things that can make you feel good in those down moments, will get you closer to getting back up and being ready to face your goals again.

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Good Intentions

Good Intentions

Good Intentions

When coming up for the idea of this blog, I had set in my mind that one month at a time I would be able to focus on one area of my life and focus on finding love, joy and magic in that area, I would make some tweaks, do a few projects and then start living my best life in that area, then move onto the next! I would work on my self, my habits, my finances and relationships and I would share my bright colourful life with the world… then the universe was like… mwahaha!! All of a sudden the rug was pulled out from under me and was like, oh you want to solve problems here have a whole heap more! Here’s one for every area of your life at once! Unfortunately instead of saying thanks and continuing on with my plan I pretty much just got overwhelmed… I still shared my bright colourful life most of the time and tinkered with a few ideas and projects, but I let doubt, anxiety and fear overwhelm me and I forgot that I was in charge!

I am in charge of my thoughts, feelings and actions and how I choose to show up.

I am not saying this year I am planning on being perfect… finishing everything I start, putting out a blog post every week or smiling 24-7, but I do plan on listening more to the universe, accepting where I am and believing with all my heart I am on the right path! I plan to dance more, sing (yes off key) more, wake up with intention more, be a little less hard on myself more, check in with myself more, play more and celebrate life more and here’s the big one… just be myself more! 

Now, yes, this is all fine and dandy to say… But is harder to practice… Not to worry, I have some tools ready to keep me on track and help me stay connected to my goals! 

Law of Attraction Diary

This year I have bought myself a Law of Attraction planner from Freedom Mastery! It is freaking magical! At first a little overwhelming with all of the information and tasks, but a great tool to help keep me on track for the year. It has a lot of journaling prompts and has daily and monthly check ins. If you want to see inside keep an eye out in my stories on instagram! I will be doing a little walk through soon.

Radical Radiance

Late last year I bought Gala Darling’s latest book Radical Radiance, now it’s not your normal buy it read it book… each month I get a written and audio chapter sent to me by email along a tapping video and other stuff! We are up to chapter 5 and I cannot tell you how much this book has already helped me! It is great to have a monthly reminder to focus and make sure I am staying on track.

The end of 2017 and 2018 was a bit of a weird time for me mentally, emotionally and physically, I had some great times but I also had some difficult events which threw me out of whack! My ego, confidence and body were all put out and I really didn’t feel like myself.. I struggled with my mindset and found it really difficult to get back to a place where I was happy with me… but the last few months I have been feeling a shift, I am working through it and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

January really has kicked off amazingly and I am looking forward to what else 2019 has to bring! 

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