Last week, I spent a lot of time dreaming up some big scary exciting life goals! These goals were anything but SMART, they were ideas, words, feelings and dreams not bound to my current reality. I have to admit, my list is pretty badass and something I really have struggled to do over the years… When I have tried to dream big in the past, I have found it really hard to think of the things I may I want, but this year was different, I’ve been doing the work on myself and each day my ideal future becomes clearer and more and more extravagantly amazing!
After years of setting the goal post to low, not knowing what to strive towards and honestly just letting life happen to me, I finally decided I needed to work more on myself so I could start letting life happen for me! I’d love to say that the moment I started creating mind maps, setting my values, being grateful and working on figuring out the things that light me up, that I instantly figured out what I want to do in life… Nope… But doing that work on myself and practicing (yes the buzz word) self care and self love I find it easier each time to come up with ideas on my dream life as well as appreciate how amazing my life already is!
In this post, I wanted to share a few ways that I am making my goals work for me!
There are plenty of different ways you can do this and reasons why you should… writing down your goals gets them out of your mind and out into the world, it helps you focus and assemble your thoughts from something abstract to something real, a statement, a plan or a new story!
How you write them down is up to you and personally I suggest trying as many methods as possible and then going with what feels right at the time… or with whatever works for you. I don’t think you need to pick one method and just stick to that, play around with it!
Now there are many views on if you share your goals with others or not… some say sharing your goals with others gives you accountability while others say physiologically your getting the satisfaction of completing the goal… without actually completing the goal! Now I am not sure exactly which side of the fence I sit on here… BUT what I do believe is, that you need to make your goals feel real! So whether you find a close friend to talk about your goals with or if you just talk about them with yourself out loud in the mirror, talk them out! Clarify what they are and why you want them, dream about what it will be like when you reach them, connect with why you want to reach them and get excited about the possibilities of them becoming reality!
This is a big one for me, its something I am constantly working through! Why do we see failure as something bad? Something to be ashamed of? It is absolutely crazy to think we can achieve anything without a bit of failure! Something I have been working on in altering my thoughts, patterns and reactions to failure… I have been re-writing my stories around failing and disconnecting shame from the equation all together! We have all read the motivational quotes about learning from failures or it being apart of the journey etc… but seriously they are all true… I mean most cheesy quotes are! Failing is just one step towards your damn goal… so if you are one step closer… why is that shameful? Why aren’t we celebrating the fuck out of it or at least just re-assessing and moving on?!
Something I am obsessed with reading about is habits and routines! How habits work, how to change them, what other peoples routines are and testing different routines out for myself! Something that changed the way I thought about all of this was when I realised our thoughts become our feelings, which in turn affect our actions… so…. If my thoughts affect my actions… I need to make sure my headspace is in the right place… and to do that?! Yep I needed to work out which habits made me feel good, which habits to ditch and how to fit all of those good ones into my days/weeks/life! I still constantly work on this, but I am in a much better place than I was in my 20’s and to tell you the truth I learn something new about myself every time I explore a habit or change up my routines. This may seem like it has nothing to do with achieving your goals… but I am telling you, the amount of research and self help books out there that suggest working on your habits and routines get you closer to reaching your goals, it aint a new concept… just make sure that your habits and routines align with where you are heading and you will reach your destination (Slowly puts lid back on can of worms… for now!)
Something I have learned about myself is that my life has seasons, I don’t mean like summer and winter etc, I mean I have ups and downs and patterns and moments where I am on fire along with moments where I want to hibernate. Over time I have learnt to listen to them, accept them and do my best to work with them instead of judge them or shame myself for having them. In the moments of fire your hot and ready and motivated, but in the moments of hibernation, its easy to get down on yourself… Which honestly just spirals you further down… Learning to accept, give yourself grace and finding the things that can make you feel good in those down moments, will get you closer to getting back up and being ready to face your goals again.
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