Stuck in indecision

Stuck in indecision

Stuck in Indecision

My star sign is Libra, I read a long time ago that Librans can be a little indecisive… I used to laugh at this because for me it’s true… I can find it difficult to make a decision! But never have I felt this much indecision at once! I can put my hand on my heart and tell you that this year has been one of the hardest year of my life… Never have I spent so much time inside my own head, over analyzing every detail of my past, present and my future…

Life was easier in the past, I was younger, I’d made less “mistakes” I had a long life ahead of me, full of opportunities! As I started reaching 30, I entered full panic mode… and I think I have been living there ever since… I’ve tried lists, in depth plans, worrying and burying my head in the sand… none of which worked! (weird how those last few didn’t work huh! LOL)… now I’m 34 (turning 35 this year) and I feel like I am still in the same position!! Yes, I paid off debt… but just to take on more… yes I’ve changed jobs… but just to find myself in the exact same position every few years… yes I have two gorgeous dogs now… but I’m still in no position to be giving them little humans to play with! How did this happen!?

Indecision! I’ve spent the last 4 or so years just accepting the decision to make no real life decisions! I think I only realised this over the last month or so… which is progress right!? So why can I not make any of these big decisions? Fear of failure, fear of success maybe people pleasing? I’m not 100% sure yet…

So what now? Well I don't know… I just can't decide :p

While I just sit a little longer with this decision paralysis I have started looking into methods to  snap myself out of it! This may be some sort of distraction from the underlying issue… but hey it’s a start! I have been reading a bit about the psychology around decision making and found this great article on working out your ‘decision-building muscle’! It’s all about your daily behaviors, it talks about the 4 types of behaviors we engage in below:

Short term benefit/pleasure = long term painful/negative outcomes

Short term benefit/pleasure = long term benefit/pleasure outcomes

Short term painful/negative = long term painful/negative outcomes

Short term painful/negative = long term benefit/pleasure outcomes  

It suggests that by resisting from short term benefit/pleasure for a long term painful/negative outcome behaviors and participating in short term painful/negative for long term benefit/pleasure outcome behaviors will strengthen your decision building muscles! I mean it makes sense… funny how all roads are leading back to this for me at the moment! Daily routine…  

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Changing your life starts with a plan

Changing your life starts with a plan

Changing your life starts with a plan

At my day job, they like to say a goal without a plan is just a wish and even though this is a line directly off a motivational poster, that doesn’t make it less true! I have been setting goals for as long as I can remember, I still own my childhood journals which were full of goals like wearing pink fairy wings to my formal, having pink hair and meeting Drew Barrymore… And most of the goals I wrote, I actually achieved… Except for meeting Drew Barrymore… But hey! I still have time! Ok my point, my point is, this time goal setting isn’t the problem… The problem is I have no idea what I want! I mean, yeah I have a rough idea of what I think I want, I want my job to be fulfilling, I want kids, I want to live in bursts of colour (duh that’s why I called this blog that) BUT what does that even mean? 

This year, I intend to find out! I intend to change my life with a plan! 

Ok, so there is my big bold statement… Now where do I start?!

I have decided to start this project by learning a bit more about myself, I figure (meaning I have read in plenty a self help book) that to know what I really want out of life, I need to reconnect with who I am again first… To do that I am going to look inside… Firstly, inside my mind by exploring my values and learning more about the roles I play in life and how I want to show up to the people I play those roles to… Secondly, inside my home by jumping on trend and exploring this whole simplifying thing… 

This is a pic of the Kikki-K special edition of the book I am totally about to mention below… keep reading


I mean what are my values!? Should that be something I just already know? Ummmm I value the colour pink… But seriously, what matters to me, what beliefs and ideas do I have and hold important in life? A great book to help you figure it all out is The Life Plan, by Shannah Kennedy, I picked up her book a few years ago and skim read it… (sorry Shannah) I mean I got the pretty version from Kikki-K and I had some real anxiety about ruining it by completing the activities and writing in the book… So I kinda just skimmed it and did a few of the activities and wrote them out in a notepad… But this time I promise Shannah I am going to complete the book start to finish (I’m totes going to do the actual writing in a notepad still though… Cause the books so gosh darn pretty)!

This is Archie, I’m his human… and I think I do pretty well in that role


Another thing I have been reading a lot about lately is defining your roles in life. Roles like; mother, business owner, daughter or friend etc etc.. Taking responsibility for the roles you play and taking a deeper look at which relationships are connected to each role and how you show up in these roles, sounds like a great way to learn more about yourself and figure out if you actually even want to play the part you have given yourself in this play called life! I want to become more intentional about the roles I currently play and align my goals and priorities around these roles.

De-cluttering books is my weakness


I started this process last year after reading Marie Kondo’s book The Magical Art of Tidying. This book really helped me get past a few issues I had on holding on to things that I was not using and only holding on to because I felt bad! But I have realised this year that even though I have almost mastered the art of getting rid of things… I still really need to master the art of buying less… and I really need to start the process a second time and de-clutter the shizz nizz out of my house AGAIN (especially my wardrobe)!

So! There you have it the first steps to my master grand plan!

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