The Sensual Selfie Challenge 2018

The Sensual Selfie Challenge 2018

Sensual Selfie Challenge 2018

Day 1 of @evyan.whitney#sensualselfiechallenge kicked of with an email and a stunningly pink sensual photo of the gorgeous @galadarling 💖✨
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I have wrote and rewrote the caption of this photo more than once, its hard to not downplay my presence and talk up the gorgeous @thesoulecho who took this photo in this caption!! I wrote jokes about wondering if I’m cheating because it’s not a selfie, I wrote about all the other gorgeous sensual selfies I have seen already today… but I noticed I wasn’t writing one thing that was actually about me… the me in this picture!! I don’t think this is because I dislike my body.. I don’t! I love and appreciate every aspect of my body! I love my legs that allow me to walk, I love my arms that allow me to carry, push, pull and high five!! 🙌 I think what makes it difficult for me to share and caption this picture is my thoughts and beliefs about what others will think… 🤔 Will they think less of me for being vulnerable will they laugh at me for thinking I’m sexy will they see the goofy kid instead of the grown bad ass women… like I do..? So I wrote, deleted, wrote and then deleted all of the other fluff and now am laying it all out, taking this space, my space and saying with love, confidence and conviction: “I am a dazzling beam of light. I celebrate myself and bask in my divinity. I am a gift to and from the universe.”

Day 2 of the #sensualselfiechallenge kicked off with another email and sensual selfie from @ethereal.1 💖💜 The email and her words had me pondering all day!✨ Relationships can be hard work, making sure you listen, appreciate and work together is so important! This is what I have been pondering on today when thinking about the relationship I have with my body… It has taken almost my entire life, but I am not overly self conscious when it comes to my body, I don’t stress about being the perfect media biased women, I actually love all of the things I hated about my body as a teen… I know it may seem easy for me to say because I’m tiny… I haven’t had children and I’m relatively healthy… yes I hear this all the time… but seriously I hated my height, my thighs, my stomach, my butt… and different parts of body for the longest time! What I have realised though is, I’m not always the best partner to my body… i forget to listen to what it needs and sometimes forget we are a team! After thinking about the journey I have had with my body, I thought it was about time I wrote it these vows… ~💖 From the moment we met, you have been by my side, you have supported me in every possible way you could, you hold my heart and soul and you have always functioned in every way I need. I know have not always been the best partner, I have hated on you openly, I have hidden you, poisoned you and have recklessly put you in some crazy situations… but you always stick by me… when I broke you, you healed, when I made you sick, you stuck it out and got better, when I pushed you, you never gave up… you performed, even when I didn’t even think you could! Over the years we have had our ups and downs, but we have worked each day to grow, together and I could not imagine my life with you! I love you and with these vows I promise to always love you, respect, cherish and celebrate you each and every day! I cannot wait to spend the rest of our life working together as a team! 🌸

Ok… shit is getting real… 😬 Day 3 of the #sensualselfiechallengehosted by the kick ass @4locrow today is all about the unflattering angle!! 🙌 Time to get a little more uncomfortable! 😅 When I received my photos back from my sensual photo session with @thesoulecho I LOVED my photos!! All of them… except 3… (this photo is 1 of them) The lighting is beautiful the colours spot on but in this and the other 2 photos, I found imperfections that made me feel uncomfortable… so I started planning my feed for the 5 days of the challenge and chose the ones that made me feel good!! Don’t get me wrong they are all still hard to share (I’m in my undies on the internet 😳) BUT I had NO plan on sharing the ones that made me actually feel embarrassed! Then I started the challenge and realised isn’t that what it’s all about! Getting uncomfortable so you can then push past all of that perfect body nonsense!! ~

So after some time reflecting on today’s theme, I spent this morning looking… really looking at myself again in this photo… In this photo I see a strong, confident woman who knows how to have a laugh and not take life to seriously! ~

I see that I am beautiful from every angle, but I do not need to be beautiful to be of value!

Day 4 of the #sensualselfiechallenge todays host @blacklorelei7 shared an amazingly sensual selfie this morning with the affirmation “My sensuality is mine to own” ~

So today I share a more sensual side of myself, a pose that is hard for me (especially when in front of a camera) my go to pose is a smile or a laugh, I tend to show and accept the silly fun side of myself more than the sensual side… but today I affirm that this side is also apart of who I am and I am not ashamed! I celebrate, love and do my best to accept this softer, sensual side… even though visually seeing it makes me want to laugh out loud at this face…

Today is day 5 (the last day) of the #sensualselfiechallenge 💖 Today the gorgeous @evyan.whitneyfinished off the challenge with the reminder that it may be the end of the challenge… but it does not have to be the end of your self love and sensual expression! ~

I have lived in many versions of my body, from a super skinny mini to a boozy booby bartender to now… somewhere in between… and I have to admit… I hated my body most when I was super skinny! But not because I was super skinny… because in my head I was fat! 🙄 yes you guessed it, I was also very young!! In retrospect I realise my body was bangin and I was a fool to not buy this sequin hot pants and matching midriff!! But luckily with age and taking the time to work on myself my perspectives and views on my self and body have changed… Today I’am much more loving and comfortable with myself… and who knows if I find a version of that outfit again you may not get me out of it! 😂🌈💖 I guess my point though is even though it came with age, I don’t think age is the defining factor.. I really believe being comfortable in your own skin is first a decision and then a practice! There are days you catch a glimpse of your muffin top or days that your face breaks out… and you feel like shit… and those are days you remind yourself that it’s a practice! Nobody is perfect at being kind and loving to their body… but the more you practice… the easier it becomes! 💖 ~
✨ 
But I am sure it’s clear (if you read any of my insta novels over this challenge 😂) being ok with my body has not been the area I am healing with this challenge… the challenge has made me realise The part of my body that needs healing the most is my thoughts on self expression! The thoughts running through my brain throughout this challenge have been quite revealing! With words like narcissism and vanity along with a barrage of self deprecating thoughts about my creativity (or lack of) exploding in my head every time I drafted, saved, deleted, drafted and posted each day… I have more to say, lol but IG has a word limit 😂 I guess if you are interested look out for my next blog post!! 💖

These photos were all taken by the gorgeous Steph from The Soul Echo Social, her work is stunning, her presence is calming and her passion in her craft and in life is contagious! Check out her amazing work here and read more about the sensual selfie photo shoot here!  

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I had a Sensual Selfie photo shoot and it felt amazing!

I had a Sensual Selfie photo shoot and it felt amazing!

My Sensual Selfie Photshoot

A few weeks ago I participated in the Sensual Selfie Challenge on Instagram, for five days I shared a sensual photo of myself each day! This challenge was something I came across while scrolling the gram… I was in a trance (an Instagram glaze) and endlessly scrolling when I saw a pic I liked, a line drawing of a woman, I stopped, double tapped and read the post, the post was from Gala Darling and she was hosting the first day of the Sensual Selfie Challenge! I was in! I saved the pic and thought “I’ll come back to it”… But i didn’t, when later came along I was out of my Instagram trance and could not think of anything worse! Sharing sensual selfies of myself on the internet!? Was I crazy? Who knows what weirdos would see them, what would people think of me shamelessly parading around… Then embarrassment at the thought that I had for a second thought I could even pose sensually and be sexy! Ha nope… Not me… That moment there was the first real feeling I had from the Sensual Selfie Challenge. 

A few days or so later, I was laying in bed, watching stories and there it was again, the sensual selfie challenge, but this time as an invite for a photoshoot a sensual photo shoot for the challenge! Was this the universe talking to me! Could it smell my fear and self doubt!? YES right then and there I said YES and organised a Sensual Selfie shoot for the following day! I was on fire! I felt energised, excited and powerful… For like 10 seconds…. Then I thought oh god what have I done!

The next day rolled around, I prepped in the best way I knew how, I washed my hair with pink shampoo, I tanned, I plucked my eyebrows and painted my nails and then I waited… Steph from the Soul Echo Social arrived and the Sensual Shoot was about to start! EEEP! We small talked for a bit while Steph sorted her bags exposing like 5 bags of glitter (my only regret from that shoot was not thinking to ask to use that glitter!)  Once the small talk was done Steph asked me if I had any ideas I said no (even though I had saved Pinterest photos for ideas the night before… I don’t know! I guess I was nervous as hell!) So then we began. We started in my bedroom, Steph assessed the lighting and I nervously joked about taking my clothes off… Except it wasn’t really a joke… I just mumbled something like okaaaaay…. I guess I’ll take of my clothes in a weird voice… Then we began, posing was difficult, I felt nervous and a little stiff, but after great direction and a bit of a laugh I started to feel more and more comfortable, by the end of the shoot, it felt almost completely normal to be walking around with no top on in front of someone other than my boyfriend! The shoot was done and I felt great! I was excited to see the photos, it had been fun pretending to be an underwear model for a bit and I was excited to start the challenge!

Waiting for these photos I felt pretty confident, I knew there would most likely be things I would not like about the photos… well about my body more specifically but I had prepped myself for that! I received the photos in the morning… and for some reason felt I needed to wait until I was home to look at them… looking at them at work just didn’t quite feel right… when I got home I potted around for a while and then suddenly (while on the toilet) thought yep it’s time, lets check it out! As soon as I opened the folder I could not believe how pretty they were the colours were amazing and I felt genuinely happy with how I looked in most of the photos (WIN) I literally was glowing! 

Then I waited… the long day or so till the challenge started, I have to say over this day or however long it was… I felt physically ill to my stomach! I had so many thoughts running through my head, so many reasons not to go ahead with the challenge… what will people think, what will my boyfriend think, what about my career (you know cause I am totally thinking of running for prime minster one day lol) what will this make me… Vain, narcissistic,  ridiculous… I mean when having the photo shoot done, I felt like none of these things… but the idea of sharing them, had changed my whole view on it… I felt anxious and sick, like if I posted them my world was going to change, everyone would hate it and I would just be alone and embarrassed… OBVIOUSLY none of that happened… I posted them, felt a million feelings and everything pretty much stayed the same… except now I feel slightly more of bad ass bitch who ain’t afraid to take up this space in her skimpy pinkies yo! 

Read more about the feels I had throughout the challenge in my Sensual Selfie 2018 recap post! 

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Want to hang out till it gets good? No spam I promise! At some point I plan on adding cool free shit here! Won't that be fun 🙂

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