5 ways to work with your goals

5 ways to work with your goals

5 ways to work with your goals

Last week, I spent a lot of time dreaming up some big scary exciting life goals! These goals were anything but SMART, they were ideas, words, feelings and dreams not bound to my current reality. I have to admit, my list is pretty badass and something I really have struggled to do over the years… When I have tried to dream big in the past, I have found it really hard to think of the things I may I want, but this year was different, I’ve been doing the work on myself and each day my ideal future becomes clearer and more and more extravagantly amazing! 

After years of setting the goal post to low, not knowing what to strive towards and honestly just letting life happen to me, I finally decided I needed to work more on myself so I could start letting life happen for me! I’d love to say that the moment I started creating mind maps, setting my values, being grateful and working on figuring out the things that light me up, that I instantly figured out what I want to do in life… Nope… But doing that work on myself and practicing (yes the buzz word) self care and self love I find it easier each time to come up with ideas on my dream life as well as appreciate how amazing my life already is!

In this post, I wanted to share a few ways that I am making my goals work for me!

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Write them down

There are plenty of different ways you can do this and reasons why you should… writing down your goals gets them out of your mind and out into the world, it helps you focus and assemble your thoughts from something abstract to something real, a statement, a plan or a new story!

How you write them down is up to you and personally I suggest trying as many methods as possible and then going with what feels right at the time… or with whatever works for you. I don’t think you need to pick one method and just stick to that, play around with it!

Verbalise them

Now there are many views on if you share your goals with others or not… some say sharing your goals with others gives you accountability while others say physiologically your getting the satisfaction of completing the goal… without actually completing the goal! Now I am not sure exactly which side of the fence I sit on here… BUT what I do believe is, that you need to make your goals feel real! So whether you find a close friend to talk about your goals with or if you just talk about them with yourself out loud in the mirror, talk them out! Clarify what they are and why you want them, dream about what it will be like when you reach them, connect with why you want to reach them and get excited about the possibilities of them becoming reality!   

Forget about failure

This is a big one for me, its something I am constantly working through! Why do we see failure as something bad? Something to be ashamed of? It is absolutely crazy to think we can achieve anything without a bit of failure! Something I have been working on in altering my thoughts, patterns and reactions to failure… I have been re-writing my stories around failing and disconnecting shame from the equation all together! We have all read the motivational quotes about learning from failures or it being apart of the journey etc… but seriously they are all true… I mean most cheesy quotes are! Failing is just one step towards your damn goal… so if you are one step closer… why is that shameful? Why aren’t we celebrating the fuck out of it or at least just re-assessing and moving on?!

Work on your habits

Something I am obsessed with reading about is habits and routines! How habits work, how to change them, what other peoples routines are and testing different routines out for myself! Something that changed the way I thought about all of this was when I realised our thoughts become our feelings, which in turn affect our actions… so…. If my thoughts affect my actions… I need to make sure my headspace is in the right place… and to do that?! Yep I needed to work out which habits made me feel good, which habits to ditch and how to fit all of those good ones into my days/weeks/life! I still constantly work on this, but I am in a much better place than I was in my 20’s and to tell you the truth I learn something new about myself every time I explore a habit or change up my routines. This may seem like it has nothing to do with achieving your goals… but I am telling you, the amount of research and self help books out there that suggest working on your habits and routines get you closer to reaching your goals, it aint a new concept… just make sure that your habits and routines align with where you are heading  and you will reach your destination (Slowly puts lid back on can of worms… for now!)

Flow with your seasons

Something I have learned about myself is that my life has seasons, I don’t mean like summer and winter etc, I mean I have ups and downs and patterns and moments where I am on fire along with moments where I want to hibernate. Over time I have learnt to listen to them, accept them and do my best to work with them instead of judge them or shame myself for having them. In the moments of fire your hot and ready and motivated, but in the moments of hibernation, its easy to get down on yourself… Which honestly just spirals you further down… Learning to accept, give yourself grace and finding the things that can make you feel good in those down moments, will get you closer to getting back up and being ready to face your goals again.

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Stuck in indecision

Stuck in indecision

Stuck in Indecision

My star sign is Libra, I read a long time ago that Librans can be a little indecisive… I used to laugh at this because for me it’s true… I can find it difficult to make a decision! But never have I felt this much indecision at once! I can put my hand on my heart and tell you that this year has been one of the hardest year of my life… Never have I spent so much time inside my own head, over analyzing every detail of my past, present and my future…

Life was easier in the past, I was younger, I’d made less “mistakes” I had a long life ahead of me, full of opportunities! As I started reaching 30, I entered full panic mode… and I think I have been living there ever since… I’ve tried lists, in depth plans, worrying and burying my head in the sand… none of which worked! (weird how those last few didn’t work huh! LOL)… now I’m 34 (turning 35 this year) and I feel like I am still in the same position!! Yes, I paid off debt… but just to take on more… yes I’ve changed jobs… but just to find myself in the exact same position every few years… yes I have two gorgeous dogs now… but I’m still in no position to be giving them little humans to play with! How did this happen!?

Indecision! I’ve spent the last 4 or so years just accepting the decision to make no real life decisions! I think I only realised this over the last month or so… which is progress right!? So why can I not make any of these big decisions? Fear of failure, fear of success maybe people pleasing? I’m not 100% sure yet…

So what now? Well I don't know… I just can't decide :p

While I just sit a little longer with this decision paralysis I have started looking into methods to  snap myself out of it! This may be some sort of distraction from the underlying issue… but hey it’s a start! I have been reading a bit about the psychology around decision making and found this great article on working out your ‘decision-building muscle’! It’s all about your daily behaviors, it talks about the 4 types of behaviors we engage in below:

Short term benefit/pleasure = long term painful/negative outcomes

Short term benefit/pleasure = long term benefit/pleasure outcomes

Short term painful/negative = long term painful/negative outcomes

Short term painful/negative = long term benefit/pleasure outcomes  

It suggests that by resisting from short term benefit/pleasure for a long term painful/negative outcome behaviors and participating in short term painful/negative for long term benefit/pleasure outcome behaviors will strengthen your decision building muscles! I mean it makes sense… funny how all roads are leading back to this for me at the moment! Daily routine…  

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Pink Parri Passion Projects

Pink Parri Passion Projects

Pink Parri Passion Projects

Sometimes the pressure of life overwhelms me, I mean I know that no-one’s life is perfect and I know that I have it pretty darn good, but sometimes it’s just so hard to keep on top of everything, keep the house tidy so I feel happy and not dragged down by mess, eat healthy so I am full of energy, workout so I feel strong and powerful, be creative so I feel content, manage my finances so I am set up, enjoy the simple things so I appreciate my life and the people in it, sleep better, breathe better, weed the yard, look after my fur babies, make my boyfriend laugh oh man the list could go on forever! These are the things I obsess write about in my personal One Note, I list ideas, books to read, hacks to try and track all of the attempts I take at trying to make my life easier… Writing these things down is just one way that I ease the stress of trying to be a functioning adult… but sometimes all of the words and ideas and lists can also be overwhelming! That is why I started this blog! I want to sort my brain out, structure my ideas, work on my focus and slow down! 

A few years ago, I got slightly obsessed with finding my passion! Thanks to good old Google everywhere I went on the internet was plastered with the word Passion! (I mean that’s what happens when you obsess over things on the internet..) Find your passion, follow your passions, do something you are passionate about, passion, ah what is my passion!? I spent a good chunk of time trying to figure out what my passion was… until I realised… I don’t need to add finding my life’s passion to my list of already growing stresses! 

 

Passion doesn't have to be something you need to find or choose before you can enjoy your life...

AND finding your passion, doesn’t mean that is going to be your passion forever, things change, interests change so why obsess on finding that one thing to be happy and instead just focus on whatever is making me happy right now!

My One Note is pretty special to me, it’s where I go to download and plan pretty much everything in my life! The Pink Parri Passion Projects tab is where I go when I think of a new project to start! It’s where I started taking notes for Bomb Chicka Fizz Fizz (my online Fizz Biz), my 2016 wardrobe capsule and a whole heap of ideas for other projects that I want to do! The list grows quickly and some of them have been on the to do list for way too long… and some I have started but half-assed and/or not finished! That is why I have decided to start sifting through all of the lists, ideas and mix in a few of the more boring ‘to do’s’ that I have been collecting like Pokémon cards instead of actually being an adult and completing! It’s time to slow down and complete one project at a time (instead of jumping from project to project)! Some will be fun, some will be boring, some will be small and some will be a bit bigger, but I plan to track each one of them here on the blog! I don’t want to set any guidelines or list them at the start, the only rules I am giving myself is to take one at a time and to share the steps and/or my thoughts with guys!          

That’s all for now! Just a little insight into my thought process behind a few upcoming projects/experiments I will be sharing with you this year and to announce my plan on slowing down (just a little) into the universe! 

Keep an eye out for my first mini project (well this one is one of a challenge) on instagram! A fun workout challenge I have been wanting to do for a while now! @Badwitchchallenge  

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